i've been gone for to long. i've been trying to do a lot in my life. i've been trying to be healthy and do good for my self. that is why i have been gone for a long time. i'm not sure why i'm posting this i doubt anyone cares about this blog. and truthfully i feel i've lost my will to write in here. i'm forcing every word, grasping and sentiences that dont even fell like mine. so i went to another treatment, spent Christmas away. and cried more than i though i could. at the moment i feel i was worth the pain, but in a week or two i mite feel differently. i'm fat to my standers skinny to others. 108.31 pounds and counting every day. i eat 4 meals and 2 snacks a day. i hate every bite. but i'm good. and felt like i needed to say this so anyone who cared(i doubt there is any) would know. so now you know and i know i feel like i have nothing to say. i mite post some more soon but i find it hard to keep writing here. it reminds me of when i am very bad and very sick.
well thats all i guess. and i love you girls that helped me through the hard days, i love you and i'm sorry i abandoned you
lots of love S