"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
Marilyn Monroe

low cal meals

Saturday, January 15, 2011

to long

i've been gone for to long.  i've been trying to do a lot in my life. i've been trying to be healthy and do good for my self. that is why i have been gone for a long time. i'm not sure why i'm posting this i doubt anyone cares about this blog. and truthfully i feel i've lost my will to write in here. i'm forcing every word, grasping and sentiences that dont even fell like mine.  so i went to another treatment, spent Christmas away. and cried more than i though i could. at the moment i feel i was worth the pain, but in a week or two i mite feel differently. i'm fat to my standers skinny to others. 108.31 pounds and counting every day. i eat 4 meals and 2 snacks a day. i hate every bite. but i'm good. and felt like i needed to say this so anyone who cared(i doubt there is any) would know. so now you know and i know i feel like i have nothing to say. i mite post some more soon but i find it hard to keep writing here. it reminds me of when i am very bad and very sick.

well thats all i guess. and i love you girls that helped me through the hard days, i love you and i'm sorry i abandoned you

lots of love S


  1. your stats sound great to me :)
    keep up the good work and don't give a shit what others may think .


  2. Oh honey. If this is not good for you, you shouldn't do it. I wish you will find your own way to be happy and find a way to deal with this.
    Sometimes we are not able to find any words that make sense, but this is nothing bad. I will still be here to support you if you need it.
    And the only thing that really matters is what you think, not what others do.

    I truly wish you all the best, love.
    You have my heart,

  3. Oh my goodness. I've missed you so much. I was worried. It's a relief that you're okay. Thank you for letting everyone know. We all care about you so very much, please don't ever doubt that people care.


  4. I'm so glad you're alright. As long as you want to post I'll be here to read it

  5. Hey girly, so glad to hear you're alright! I know what you mean about the blogging. Maybe, you could make a new blog for a "new" you or something? It might make it easier to write. Don't ever doubt that people on here don't care. I've been worried sick. And I'm so glad you updated us! Sorry Christmas break probably wasn't all that great =\

    I missed you, love xoxox


    By the way, you have 69 followers. Just sayin' lol.

  6. Oh my goodness! I was just thinking about you the other day! To be honest, I'm glad you're eating more. I know you hate it, but it really is helping. I feel like you've come such a long way to being healthy, and that's something to celebrate. None of us want the pain of dealing with this disorder, and you're being incredibly strong by pushing yourself through this. I'm so happy for you. You can do this. Being healthy in the long run is far more valuable than dying young and thin. You have so many experiences ahead of you, and I'm sure you'll go far.

    Love, R