"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
Marilyn Monroe

low cal meals

Saturday, August 28, 2010

bad bad bad. it happened i finally fell. and i fell hard.

well first the good. i slept! witch is good, but i fell of the wagon and self medicated to get to sleep. which i a big no no. i was 5  month sober. then last night i pop a oxycotin so i could sleep. i slept for 10 hours!!! I know i'm elated about it. i haven't been this clear headed in ages!.....but now for the bad. and i mean really bad. after about 9 days with out eating(i did have tea and other drinks) i lost it and ate half a cheese burger, frys, and a shake. but now sense I've gone so long without eating my body's rebelling against me. its a fitting punishment. i have triable diarrhea i can barely leave the toilet... so i feel bad without eating and i get deathly sick when i do eat. its a good punishment for being such a pig. and all the food i ate is being flushed out..no weight gain! ha its the natural laxative. so thats all for now its the moms birthday so i need to go get ready.


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