"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
Marilyn Monroe

low cal meals

Monday, August 30, 2010

thinking of the lady!

 I just threw up. I mix pills and whine and threw up all over my neighbors shrub. i think its a shrub it mite be a bush. or a midget tree. oh well. its 80 degrees out at midnight(really i just checked)...its weird but i feel warm for once. i'm not sure if its the weather or the self medicating thats making me warm. either way i like it. 
  my hands wont stop shaking, im not sure why. and my eyes refuse to focus for more than a few seconds at a time.

i cant stop think of the lady!! ha the lady my old boyfriend used to call it that...when i first started i would just call it heroin, but after you really start to use. when you really start to get to know the drug it develops a personality(much like anorexia thus the name ana) so i started calling it the lady as well. anywho getting off track. i miss my sweet evil lady so much!

i miss how every noise sounds like it coming threw a tunnel. 
 i miss how i feel like i'm watching a movie when really i'm just watching people
i miss the way my body tingles
 i miss the feeling rite after you sniff the lady
i miss the way it feels when someone touches you
 i miss the way it makes me feel beautiful!
i miss her so bad!

ok now i'm rabaling so i'll say goodnight 


p.s my j key is all fucked up and i have to smash it like a million time for it to work! its super frustrating..but it is kinda my fault for spilling tea on the computer oops 

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