sick

ya thats pretty much all thats going on. i can barely get out of bed..well except to puke my guts out. it sucks. sorry girls but i really don't feel like typing anything. i havent eating really.

yesterdays intake:
2 cups of meso broth (eaten through out day) (96)
green tea(5)
tummy tea w/ honey(10)
throat tea(5)
green tea(5)
and immense amounts of water!

total cal intake: 121

todays intake

2 cups of homemade chicken broth eaten through out the day (200)
chamomile tea(2)
chamomile tea w/ honey(5)
tummy tea w/ honey(10)
1/2 a lemon cucumber(0)
1 strawberry (2)

total cal intake: 219

my dad made chicken broth for me. i love him. its a little high on calories but thats ok sense i'm sick. and it tastes amazing. ya so i really haven't done anything but laid around. i've been reading everyones blogs. sorry if i havent commented though. i haven't been working out, but i'm puking up pretty much all my food, so none of those cals stay in me for long. ugh so ya. love all you guys for the comments and hi to all the new followers. i think i've followed everyones blog but i mite have missed some so please tell me if i haven't i love finding new blogs to read!

lots of love S xoxo

p.s does anyone have any type of thinspo they'd like to see?

thinspo: real girl

interlectual 

she is beautiful, shes a deviantart member.

thank you girls

oh god! i'm not pregnant. i bought 110 dollars worth of prego tests. seriously i got a shit load all but 2 said no!! but i still want to be sure so i'm begging my dad for money(not telling him what for) so i can buy a few more. just to be sure. i really don't want to go to the doctors but at the same time i do. i'll think more about it. i'm really trying to avoid seeing a doctor. thank you girlys for your support. seriously was freaking out.

i love you all!

lots of love S xoxo

shity fuck fuck shit

ok so i know i just posted but ya isla lynn just put a really bad idea into my head, really really bad. she suggested that maybe i'm sick because i'm pregnant ! wtf. ok i'm having a bit of a freak out.

1. i haven't had my period this month! i thought it was because of my weight! fuck me

2. i had sex! fuck me

3. i mite have forgotten to take the pill! fuck me

4. i'm sick(throwing up)

5 the smell of food is making me sick.

FUCK ME! FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME!


shit i'm seriously freaking out. ok i'm going to the store. and i'm getting a test, no i'm buying all the testes they have! fuck me fuck me.


please let me not be pregnant. ok i'm going now. wish me luck

A new day

Today i woke up with a bloody nose! i don't know why but my bed was covered in blood and my nose was gushing! it totally sucked. luckily it stopped pretty quickly. so today so far has not been fun at all. i am sick, i threw up and i have a fever. i'm drinking orange juice  and tea, and i' sleeping on the couch. its probably the stress.
my mom wants me to go to the doctors. i wont be going. i know if anyone sees my weight they'll freak. i'll be shoved into treatment and i really don't want that. so no doctors for me. i'll just take it easy this week. sleeping and vitamins. also i'll be trying to eat. not too much, i just want to take it easy on my body. today i tried to eat but my body didn't want to do what i told it to do.

  Intake:


1/2 a cup of meso broth(24)
peppermint tea(5)
green tea(5)
1 cup of orange juice(113) but more like 50 cal because i only drank a little
green tea(5)
1/2 cup of meso broth(24) 5, 2 inch pieces of seaweed (5)
2 strawberries (8)

total cal=126

i'll be drinking a lot more tea so the cal intake will be going up.

thank you girls for all your lovely comments  i love to read what you have to say

stay strong and safe lots of love S xoxo

thinspo: legs

tired and gloomy

i'm really tired, i couldn't sleep at all last night. why is it when i most need my sleeping meds they seem to not work? so today i mostly just laid around and slept. but luckily i was feeling a little ill so i didn't feel the need to eat! i only had some juice(50 cal) i didn't exercise though, i was to tired. the whole day my family was arguing and yelling. i hate when shit like this happens.
i finished the second book in the house of night series.it was pretty good, but really predictable. i don't know if i'll read the third book.

i'm sitting here trying to write a nice long post, but i just can't seem to do it. the only way i can explain it is i'm tired. my body is. i think its because i'm getting sick. today when my parents were eating dinner i almost threw up   just from the smell. it was horrible. i really hope i'm not getting the flew. i hate getting sick.

so tomorrow i'll be taking it easy so i wont get sick. i'll be sleeping in, drinking tea and taking vitamins. so hopefully i'll feel better. so ya i can't think of anything ells to say so i'll just be showing some thinspo

love you girls stay strong and safe

thinspo: tummy!

EW! do you see those nasty stretch marks! ew ew ew.

strange day

 i had a really nice morning today. last night i went to my sisters house. she lives like 10 ft from the river, so this morning i went for a swim at 5 in the morning. it was so peaceful and relaxing. then i went swimming again in the afternoon. me and my sister had a picnic next to the river. i only had. 2 lemon cucumbers(4) 5 strawberries(20) 5 grapes(20) 1/2 an avocado(30) 5 cherry tomatoes(15) 1 boiled egg(50). total cal=139
 not as low as i would have liked, but it wasn't horrible. And i had a lot of fun with my sister. i got home at 3:30ish. and all hell broke loose. my dad and brother where yelling at each other my mom was crying, and i turned around and left the house. instead of dealing with whatever was going on in there i went to the gym for 3 hours.

work out:

1 hour runing inclined(800)

30 minutes biking(400)

30 minutes yoga(around 300???)

1 hour jog up hill(600)

total cal burned:  2100 

then i went home to find out my brother had been caught with coke! again! while hes on probation. god hes such a dumb ass. so now hes going back to court. and hes probably going back to juvenile hall , and my life will be forced to revolve around him yet again. fuck you brother! hes almost eighteen he can't keep being stupid like this. really. my moms crying and my dads pissed, so i'm hiding in my room. i'll be doing insane workouts for the next few days, working out always helps me deal with stress. i just got done doing 100 sit ups.

my dads yelling for me. i really don't want to deal with his shit. but alas hes my dad so i have too. by my lovelies. stay strong! 

lots of love S

THINSPO: underwear! how do you want to look for that special someone? 

EWWW! she does not need that whipped cream! eww 

I HATE YOU!

I HATE YOU STUPID ASS OF A DAD!  god really i hate you. i'm currently hiding in my room from the evil binge monster. because as it so happens there is a burger and sweets sitting on the table for me rite now! and if i haven't told you guys i suffer from a serious sweet tooth. when i was little i used to sneak into the kitchen and eat spoonfuls of sugar. and rite now on that evil table theres a bag of candy, two cupcakes(red velvet) homemade, pumpkin pie(all homemade!!)  and a cheese burger with bacon and fries, also sweet tea! really dad fuck you really! i just had to wake up to this. i want to die. ok calm down. breath, breath, breath. i don't need them i'm going to calmly walk into the kitchen and make a cup of warm green tea(5) then i'm going into the bathroom and starting a warm bath. i'll read and do school work, then i'll walk to the gym and work out until i wanna pass out. then i'll work out some more! so when i get home i'll just fall on my bed and sleep. ok thats my plan and thats what i'll do! i dont need food i need exercise thats all. i will not gain. i will not gain. i will not gain!!!! ok breath i have successfully calmed myself down.

so thank you zette  for making me feel awesome! and mentioning my on your blog i feel like a celebrity. really i love you girl.

i have 25 followers now! whoohoo! i feel blessed really i love all you girls, you help me get out of bed in the morning. stay strong lovely lady's you can do anything you put your mind to.

lots of love S xoxo

thinspo. Halloween how do you want to look in your costume?

again how do you want to look in your costume?