"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
Marilyn Monroe

low cal meals

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


I'm watching Invader Zim. i love this show. it reminds me of Sunday morning curled up on the couch eating  breakfast with daddy and not worrying about a thing. 

what happened to those days?

do you want to know what i did today? i started reading a book about Hiroshima. its about servivors and there accounts of the day and days after the bomb was dropped. its terrifying and sad. i started cry because i worried what would happen if that happened here.i started crying because my puppy and kitties would probably die. i sobbed for like and hour for all the animals that would die. i didnt once think about my family or friends(more like friend) 

does that mean i am heartless? i dont think so because i love those people...but i care for animals more? i dont know why. truthfully some times i feel like i dont know my self at all. 

i think i wanted to say something in this post but i cant remember. oh well. 

B: 1 cup rice(200)
L: 2 cups rice (400)
D: squash soup(500) 2 p/ bread (200)

i actually threw most of my lunch and breakfast out my bedroom window. 

i should be doing homework. but i'm not, i'm too tired. well not really i'm just lying to my self. i've been fucking around on the computer all day and not doing anything. seriously i need to get a hobby i do nothing all day except obsess over calories, read, and sleep with the puppy. any ideas for hobby's? 


  1. I fucking love invader zim! And maybe you could try knitting. If you don't know how, I'm sure there's tons of tutorials on youtube that'll teach you how to. And everyone doesn't completely know themselves sometimes. It happens to me a lot. Sorry that book upset you so much=\ It definitely doesn't mean your heartless though. You still care about animals, that's good. Some people in the same position would only think about themselves, but you can have empathy for others. So not heartless. I love you and I hope you feel better!


  2. Oh, I get these thoughts too, about not worring about a single thing.
    Don't worry, you are not heartless. As weird as that may sound, maybe we can sometimes relate more to our pets than to anybody else. I think this is because they sense how we feel.
    And I think it's great that you read that book, would you recommend it?

    Also, thanks for you lovely comments, they always cheer me up.
    Stay strong honey,

  3. not heartless at all. i'm about the same way. my pets are much better to me than people most of the time. not going to lie, i smiled to picture you chucking things out your window. i've done that before. well, i still do. i clean up once in a while just in case my mother decides to garden down there. i like cartoons, too. reminds me of lazy mornings with my siblings not hitting me&my mother in a cheery mood. ho-hum. stay strong, little miss.
    my big hobby is music in general. but i also like to walk. everywhere. in my neighborhood, in the park, around downtown, etc. it's more fun than it sounds.

  4. No, I think the same way. I feel like I care more for animals than humans. I just think they are helpless in knowing what is really going on and why, blah blah. I feel heartless too. Hah, and when I think of horrible situations where I have to save either a human or my dog, it's a serious hesitation in who I should choose in a matter of seconds....

    Hobbies.. photograph stuff around your town/city. Do something with a creative side to it that makes you happy! I really dont know what to suggest, hah.

    I wish I could throw my food out the window =(.


  5. Sometimes it's hard to connect to people! I def. understand that. Animals are sososo hard to dislike! SO friendly and they love you no matter what. Well, most of them anyways. (:
    XX Sarah