"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
Marilyn Monroe

low cal meals

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

do i look like shit?

because i sure as hell feel like it.my head feels like its 100 pounds, oh wait i am big fat 100 pounds. its disgusting. so i'm typing this really fast, i'm hoping blogging more will help me get through this nightmare, because i have therapy in an hour. joy. my new theraopists name is Dr. pleasure. not even joking. i'm not sure if i should find this funny or sad. anyways after that i have to go to the nutritionist and have my life mapped out on the computer. 1.500 callories at a time. disgusting just doesnt seem to expresse it. i feel like i'm being anchored to this hell by my stomach. its filled with 2 eggo butter milk waffles(200) w/ syurip (60), and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich(510) i still have to shove a 700 calorie dinner down my throat. i dont think i can do it! how can they seriously expect me to eat this much.

i dont deserve this torture. 

i'm saving my gym work out for friday so i ran for only 15 minutes. i'm disgusting. then i did yoga for and hour in my room, and i did my zuba work out and i found an old ti boa video. its very fun! so i'll be doing that for the rest of the week. hopefully i'll burn at least some of this nast fat!

weigh in is tonight. i'm dredging it, but i may have saved my self! i found these little half pound rod things at the store. i'm planning on sewing them into my robe and bra! ha! to you parents i will apear to be fat but i will still be nice and little! also i think i can gain at least 1 pound in water if i continue drinking it. i've had 8 bottle of water today, and i plan on downing two rite before wiegh in. please tell me if you can think of anyother way to fake wieght gain. 

thanksgiving is coming up, and i will be expected to go to both grandparents houses, my sisters house, both sets of aunt and uncles, and of course my own house. personally i think i shouldnt have to celebrate this holady seeing as mmothers side of the family is indian and we're really only celebrating the genocide of our people. i tried this excuse last year and sadly it failed. this year i will be stuffed untill my seems are ready to burst. if only they would and all the nast stuffing would spill out. i'd weigh nothing, i'd be an empty casing of a girl. a girl can only dream

sorry i'm drugged up rite now so mmind is babbling nonsence at me. 

well its time to go spew lies at Dr. pleasure, wish me luck and hope he's as gullible as the last one

lots of love S xoxo


  1. well 100 is just 99 with 2lbs on top :) and those 2lbs will have disappeared by tomorrow morning :P
    SOOO my lovely girl, you will be alright as you will be DOUBLE digits!!
    fuckkyes :D


  2. dr pleasure!! hahahahahah that is hilarious.
    sewing rods into your bra is a genius idea :)

  3. 100 is not gross!!
    i promise you that. As for the fake weight gain, look it up on google. I've seen some interesting tips.. don't remember any off the top of my head, however they seemed convincing!
    good luck XX Sarah

  4. First things first: Dr Pleasure. Lol. Man that's some name. And it's a /dude/'s name? Holy shit, he'd better be well-endowed or he'll have some issues of his own, lol.

    More importantly: asdfghjkl to the folk who think force-feeding you is a good idea! I mean, rationally, 1,500 is an average-to-low intake for most people but who the fuck thinks they can bump up your intake that high and make you magically better? It doesn't work like that, you don't get rid of food issues and shit by stuffing somebody's face. In fact, it's actually pretty dangerous - considering how itty-bitty your intakes usually are it could actually cause serious /physical/ damage nevermind psychological distress...


    Okay. Fake weight gain. Are you allowed to wear shoes? If so, you can take out the soles and stuff them with heavy shit. Every little bit helps, so things like wearing two bras, more than one pair of underwear. Sewing coins into wherever you can - if you can take the lining out your robe then it can be inconspicuous as hell. Obviously water is the best - two litres of water = 4.4lbs. If worst comes to worst you could possibly even consider putting weights in your... well. In your ladyplace. Hey, any hole can be filled... xD

    And btw, don't you dare beat yourself up over the exercise! Considering the kind of prison people are building around you, even managing to exercise at all is an achievement, and I'm proud of you for it <3

    Have I mentioned that I love you recently? 'Cause I do. Lovelovelove. <3

  5. be careful about looking like you're gaining really fast though, they might suspect something! Great idea, just take it slow :)

  6. I love this entry, haha, really brightened me up a bit =D.

  7. to fake weight gain?
    -drink tons of water before weigh in
    - put ankle weights on ankles and cover with baggy pants.
    -wear jewelry
    -wear make up
    -wear LAYERS

    hope this helps!