The tea party is tonight! do what you need to do and join us or forever regret missing it!
in other news. i have been lying by not telling. ok not really but i have been posting about things that have nothing to do with weight loss. why you ask? because the fact that my life is just a never ending circle of eat lie weigh puke eat lie weigh puke, kills me inside. i am at the peek of my young life i should be out partying laughing and loving life. i'm not. i am a fat bloated lie of a teenage girl. i am depressed no manic no cry for attention no a liar. i am another hour for dr. pleasure to have to listen to lie. i am 1,500 calories three deferent therapy's 100 deferent lies and weigh ins ever wednesday.
last time i weighed in i didnt even tell you. why? because i cried when i saw the number. 105. i'm getting fatter, and its breaking my heart. my real weight is 103.08. still disgusting. i dont want to be fat again. it took me years of pain and lies and lost friendships to get this skinny. if i get fat i'll have nothing. i'll be fat ugly little girl with no friends and no hobbys. i wont be anything good. I am the skinny girl. and it scars me to think what i would be with out it.
i cried four time this week.
i feel weird about saying this. i used to never cry. my family doesnt cry.
i should be doing homework. i have a huge essay do monday(a day after my birthday). i only have one paragraph done. and i feel like cry because i know if i dont get it done i'll look like a failure to every one at the school. last year my teacher always told me i was her favorite student, i got treated special. this year she tolerates me, i can see in her eyes i am a disappointment. i am disgusting.
B: tea(0) the rest was fed to the puppy
L squash soup(400)
they days not over yet.
i hope to see you all at tea tonight.