i havent been on in ages i miss all you girls so much! and i've been thinking of you guys every day. so do you want to now what has happened sense i last posted?
1. got so sick i was actually puking up blood
2. my parents took me to the hospital
3. Oh my god! i was 97.6 pounds!!!!!!!!!!(i was silently cheering!!)
4. i was stuffed full of drugs and fat.
5 i weighed 100 pounds and was let out of the hospital
6 i went to a two week treatment( how could two weeks ever help someone)
7 i got out of hell and entered hell at home
i now have meal plans, i get weighed everyday and once again, my life has been taken out of my hands. Some old man who calls him self an expert is in control of everything i do. the few friends i still had, have stopped talking to me. at this moment i can truthfully only count one friend. i am so drugged i cant find the motivation to do anything. it has taken me three days to finally type this.
i am taking
ya its a lot and they make me into a zombie. on top of the meds i have to go two a nutritionist 2 times a week, and a therapist 3 time a week, family therapy once a week, and group therapy once every other week. Everyone is telling me i shouldn't blog or read blogs anymore, but seriously blogger is the only thing keeping me alive right now.
so guess how much cals i have to eat every day. 1,500!!! ya i know its disgusting, also i can only go to the gym once a week for 1 hour!!!! that is so not healthy. and i can only take my dog on a 15 minute walk!
to say i want to go to sleep and not wake up(i dont want you guys to think i'm suicidle so i wont say die) is an understaiten. i feel like i'm in prison. oh and i forgot i have to be up to 105 pounds in 3 wees or my parents are guna lock me up for 90 days!
so i should be disgustingly fat by my birthday, wich is in 12 days. all i want is to be alowed to eat under 300 cals. but instead of preasents i get to be fat and make up all my missed school work. fun.
love you girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!