"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
Marilyn Monroe

low cal meals

Sunday, November 7, 2010

will you kill me?

ya i fucking wish i was died.

so yesterday i went to a family birthday party for my little cousin who is only 10, shes like the cutes thing ever. anywho i over heard her telling a friend she wants to start on a diet. what the fuck? i had to bite my lip to stop from sobing. shes 10!!! and shes nothing but bones as it is! why would she want to diet? so then i got it in mmind that it was my fauly(it is) so when we ate i sat next to her and had 4 pieces of pizza and ice cream and buffalo wings(at leat 3,000 cal) and i kept giving her food. but then when we left i sat in the bathroom sobbing and puking my guts out. i puked untill nothing but yellow watery stuff came up. and then i puked sommore. 

no wonder my cousin felt fat and wanted to diet. i am a horrible role model

i wont ever have kids util this sickness is gone! 

so then i thought maybe i should try to get better(?)
now i am so confused i dont know what i want to do. i want to die! 

yesterdays cal intake

B: none(fed it to the puppy)
L: 4 pieces of pizza(2,000) rounded up
D: 3 buffalo wings(210)
S: 1 scoop of ice cream(600) rounded up
total cal 2,810

todays cal intake 
B: persimmon(20) the rest i fed to the puppy
L: persimmon(20) left over chop suey(400) rice(200)
D: i haven had it yet... i hope its small

total cal intake 640

and i went to the gym for an hour to day

1 hour on treadmill at 12 speed (300) 
run to gym(50) run home(50)
then i did 2 hours of zumba and ti boa (300) i dont really know 

also K  i love youyour so smart and cool and your blog is so bad ass. you idea is awesome! 

now something cute for you, the last one is the puppy


  1. SO FREAKIN CUTE!!!!!!!
    Would you live to have tea with me???

  2. Aw, those pictures are cute!
    And yeah, it's so sad that young girls think like that! It isn't fair.

  3. It is so sad to think that kids are starting to think they're fat already. It's enough as it is to be in your teens and not be able to deal with diets/weight/etc. I hope nothing like this happens to her, watch out for her *hug*.



  4. My gosh, I would cry too if I heard that. I'm sorry you heard that. It's so sad. And you can't die. Everyone would miss you so much. I hope things get better soon.


  5. -hugs tight- If you decide you do want to get better, I'll support you 2378758204872953% <3 You're a lovely girl and you don't deserve this shit so if you do decide to get out, I'll be so happy for you. =]

    I'm so sorry about your cousin ]= That must really have hurt, so much =\

    Thanks for the shoutout =D I'm going to make a post on The Idea tonight, which'll give people plenty of time to... get organised, lol xD

    Much love <3


  6. I know how you feel... Except, I feel like my cousin got fat because I did...

    I already have kids, but I HAVE to get better before they get old enough to realize I am dieting!!!

  7. You should at least try to get better... there is more to life than this... sure its great to be thin, but for it to rule your life and for you to never be satisfied with yourself isn't great either...